As a makeup lover one of things that drives me insane is when people say things like "Oh, I bet she would look better without all that gunk on her face", "Oh I hate people that wear a lot of makeup, it hides what they really look like", "Do you ever leave the house without makeup on", "Natural is so much better" and "Why do you bother, no one really cares". Comments and thoughts like that are very generalized, a bad stereotype and just flat out ignorant about people who wear makeup. However, I am not a no makeup/minimum makeup hater. I also do not like when people say "She would look so much better with makeup on." I find that rude and shallow. What does it matter whether someone wears a lot of makeup or none at all? What difference does that make to your life?
The thing with appearance is, it's all a matter of personal opinion. What or who I find to be beautiful is not always what others find beautiful. The cliche saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is true and the most important beholder is YOU! I know it is hard to always forget what others think of you, but it is what you think of you that matters the most. I can only speak for myself, but I do my makeup for me and me alone. I don't do it because I have to hide my imperfections. I do it because I love the artistry of it. When I go into places like Sephora and Ulta I am always excited, I feel like a kid in a toy store. When I get to try out a new makeup product it's like opening a birthday present. I'm sure everyone else has this feeling about a hobby they love. Makeup is a daily hobby of mine, I apply it almost everyday because I enjoy it, just like I enjoy writing or reading books these activities this make me happy.
(Pictures above similar angle as previous picture one with full makeup and one without any.)
However, it has not always been this way. I struggle with anxiety, depression, low self esteem and weight issues. My weight goes up and then down in a constant rotation. I try my hardest, but life is is not always easy. Currently my weight is up which is unfortunate but not the end, I will get it under control again. I am determined to become the healthiest happiest version of myself. It's not it will happen eventually, it's it will happen period. Keeping this positive attitude is now what keeps me going. Focusing on the things I like about myself makes me want to change how I see the things I don't.
Back when I was in my late teens/early twenties I would have never posted a pic or went anywhere without at least some makeup on. I felt I looked ugly, pale, gross any negative describing word would fit in there. I based my feelings about myself on the way I thought others saw me. I assumed others saw all my imperfections. My clogged pores, that pimple on my cheek etc. Then one day I woke up and realized who cares! Okay it didn't actually happen overnight, but you get the drift. I don't have perfect skin, I'm not skinny but that doesn't matter. Nobody is perfect! Everybody has something they dislike about themselves, but not everyone lets it control them. The cashier at the supermarket, drugstore etc. isn't going to think I am some freak just because I left the house and didn't do my makeup. Honestly, no one is looking and thinking "Colleen is gross, how dare she leave the house and not cover up that breakout on her forehead." The truth is they probably didn't even notice. Now if I don't feel like doing my makeup, I don't. I just go and do not give it a second thought.
(Photos first without any makeup, but with a Snapchat filter, second full makeup, third visible droopy eye and bad angle. Just trying to show how I look with and without makeup on and at different angles. We all control what we put out there, most people do not post the less flattering picture. For every good selfie posted, there are at least 5 "bad" selfies deleted.)
It has taken a long time, but I finally realized I can have it both ways. I am beautiful with or without makeup. I don't think I'm like the most amazing looking person ever (again that is all based on an individuals perception of beauty), but I don't think I'm hideous either. Yes, I have large pores, laugh lines, my right eye droops when I smile hence the always tilted head in my pictures (yes I know that's trying to hide something I dislike), I still get breakouts, but I also have naturally long eyelashes and thick hair. I am what I am and you are what you are, and both are amazing! Whether you go out dressed to the nines with your makeup done like a pro everyday or you leave the house wearing that same plain shirt you wear all the time and no makeup or you fall somewhere in between it doesn't make a difference. Every single way is beautiful and that is all that matters. Please always remember that. You are amazing, keep smiling and be happy!
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